I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
