You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
