Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
