Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
