I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
