I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
