Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize