His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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