Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
