I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
