guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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