this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
