Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
