i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
