A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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