Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He had one of those small greek statue penises
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
