Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
