don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
