I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
