sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
