the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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