Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
