No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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