I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
