I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
