I think I died a long time ago.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
