True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
