I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
