Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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