So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do vagina's smell?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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