hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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