she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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