she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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