well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
