Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
