you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
