I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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