It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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