"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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