So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
