Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
