i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
