there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
