She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
