hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
