Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
