ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
