you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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