I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
