Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
