I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
