he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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