we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
