We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
