plz talk dirty to me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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