could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
