i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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