that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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