what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
