fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
