Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
